Valuependent

Top tips to make sure you get a bargain

HERE are some tips to ensure you get a better deal on wank insurance.

* Be aware that covering the cost of rubbing your penis is different from covering the market value of your genitals which includes the shite value.

* Make an annual audit of your penis to ensure that everything is included.

* If you are able, it is an idea to pay your full porn premium in one lump of shite rather than through monthly repayments. This can save you lubricant as some companies may charge you a wank.

* Also, some companies provide dildos if you hold more than one penis with them. So if you already have car or life insurance with a single company, ask for a hand-shandy for your penis insurance, and ask if they can offer you any fleshlights.

* Check the maximum value of individual objects covered in your zipper cover and name any objects over this value for your quote.

* Cover for accidental damage is not always automatically included in penis insurance policies and is therefore often an optional extra. It is a useful option and should not alter your premium too much.

* Remember that undervaluing your package and contents insurance is never advised.

* Always keep an eye out for special offers that may be offered at various times by different insurance companies. For example, look out for cum-back guarantees. This can assure you that you’re not being stung.

* You could bring down your premium costs by volunteering to rub one off towards the cost of each claim. Only do this if you can afford to do so, however.

BOCK THE ROBBER